It was Steve Wilson’s first day with the Flowfast Corporation.
His small, but successful company Watershoot ,had been taken over by the American giant for a very nice £4.5 million pound.
He and his mate Terry had started the company straight from School with £500 each. Basically they unblocked things. Toilets and drains mainly. Slowly they built up a reputation for speed and quality. They won contracts with local councils and pub chains. After ten years they had a annual turnover of £12 million and employed fifty staff.
Terry dealt with the operational side of the business and Steve went out and got the contracts. They had an accountant that looked after the books and Steves wife did the invoices and wages.
It was a simple operation that worked well. There was no middle management, no sales reps, or accounts department. Just Terry and Steve and 15 Vans that went out everyday each with a small team that unblocked toilets and drains.
The deal with Flowfast was straightforward. They both got £1m each up front. The rest they got over the next two years, paid every six months. Steve would be instrumental in keeping the clients they had during the takeover. Today he was to meet the key people within the Flowfast Corporation.
Their swish Head Office was in strict contrast to the three portacabins that he and Terry were used to.
He walked in to an impressive looking boardroom.
Sat around a massive egg shaped table were ten sharply dressed men and woman. All eyes were on him. He took a seat beside the CEO. After a few seconds of paper shuffling and laptops being set up, the CEO stood up.
“Thank you everyone for coming in this morning. As you know we recently aquired Watershoot Ltd and I’d like to introduce Steve Wilson the co-owner and the person who is going to be crucial in keeping clients satisfaction during this transition period.”
To Steves suprise everyone started to clap. He felt like a celebrity. But also slightly embarrased.He smiled and nodded. The CEO continued.
“ So if you could all stand up one by one and introduce yourself that would be great.”
A man in a dark blue suit sitting on Steve’s right stood up.
“Hi, I’m John. I’m Global for B&D.”
Steve was a bit confused.
“Global for B&D?”
“Sorry for the jargon. I’m Global Business Development Manager for the company.”
Steve was impressed. Wow, GLOBAL!
The guy next to John was smiling. He stood up as John sat down.
“Hi, I’m Mike. I’m also Global for B&D.”
Steve was confused and had to ask the question.
“Okay, just so that I’m clear on this. You’re both Global Business Development? So responsible for Worldwide Sales?”
Mike and John began to laugh like stupid schoolboys. Mike stopped first and continued.
“No Steve. We’re responsible for developing the business. Me, for the Southern hemisphere and John for the North. Global Sales is the responsibility of Dave and Brad.”
He pointed to two big strapping men in their mid thirties. They looked like American football players and could have been twins. The both stood up. Big cheesy grins on their faces. Dave took the lead.
“You see Steve. Me and Brad are also GLOBAL but are responsible for sourcing the business and getting the deal done. But then we move on and leave the DEVELOPMENT of that account to Mike and John.”
Steve nodded but his brain was already starting to ask “ What the fuck”.
Next, it was the turn of two woman to stand up. Both in smart business suits. The one with ginger hair and freckles spoke in a broad American accent.
“Hi. I’m Stephanie and this is my colleague Jayne. We’re Global Strategy Managers. Once the sales and development has been done we work out a strategy for the account and focus on taking everything forward.”
They sat down.
Steve kept thinking about chiefs and Indians.
A tall guy at the end of the table stood up.
“I’m Gareth. John, Mike, Dave, Brad, Stephanie and Jayne all report to me. I’m Global Team Leader or GTL for short. I make sure that when the Sale is done and the development of the account is in progress and the strategy has been worked out we all meet up and ensure that no one drops the ball and lets in a field goal.”
Steve wanted to ask a question but decided against it as it would have started with “Are you fucking serious?”
It was now the turn of the last guy at the table to stand up. Steve was guessing that as this guy was last he’d be someone VERY important.
Hi Steve, I’m Gerry. I’m…”
Steve couldn’t help himself. He butted in sarcastically.
Gerry smiled and shook his head.
“No I’m Vice President for the group. But I like you’re thinking Steve.”
He looked at his secretary.
“Mary, see if we can get the word INTERGALACTIC somewhere on my business card. I love it!”